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Mar 30, 2023Liked by Monica Danielle

He sued YOU for child support? Girl... I want to send my attorney to you. *low-key rage stroke*

Who's obsessed with money now? 🧐

As someone who has money trauma, I'm glad you're writing and I'm happy to pay. I worked 9-5s and waited tables at night and bartended weekends until I was 40 when my business started picking up. We hustle because we have to, because someone has to pay the bills and be the adult. I am done relying on other people to pay my way. People tend to forget that the ones "obsessed with money" are coming from a place of trauma and protecting our kids from experiencing that same trauma. That I'd rather have the bills paid than whine about my art on my socials. I would rather be responsible for my triumphs and failures, rather than point the finger at everyone else, sneering hollow putdowns whilst feeling sorry for myself.

But? that's just me. I don't get off on crying into my own personal pan pizza.

Also. I still have NYT and the Atlantic and will copy paste you anything you want to read.

And?

I still value your perspective.

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Mar 30, 2023Liked by Monica Danielle

Long time reader - happy to pay to continue. Cannot fucking believe he sued you.

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Mar 30, 2023Liked by Monica Danielle

I don't know how to email you or message you via Substack and I want to go into a spiral of explaining how I'm NOT stupid, I can figure things out, etc. In any case, I just said to my husband the other day that I probably should get a weekend job, that I felt so alive working in restaurants growing up, and when we were low on money when he took that that job in sports....and maybe I could feel that way doing something now while also finding a way to keep my kids in the activities that I'm pretty sure keep them sane. Just went through the whole fun of combing through finances, canceling every subscription, teaching my husband and kids to use reader view on the paywall sites that still have that loophole, wondering what we could sell to dig us out of the hole that sporadic and sometimes long periods of my husband's unemployment have buried us in, not to say I haven't helped with my "I WORK SO HARD I DESERVE THIS" self-talk when I need something, anything to fill whatever hole has be growing since my youth.

All of this to say, I won’t be subscribing but it isn't because I don't find your writing valuable. I don't subscribe to anyone's anything right now. But I admire your hustle, even if I hate that you need to have any "side hustle," or whatever the youngsters have labeled extra work these days.

I read your ex's (free) stuff, too. I don't have an opinion on right and wrong, and based on my path and decisions, my opinion wouldn't matter even if I had one. But your post wasn't about THAT. Maybe it was, but I took something totally different from it. I'm taking a little bit of inspiration and advice from it. Yeah, I should probably get a second job in a fast paced environment where the work quiets my mind and in another universe, it all becomes zen. But no, I should not go back to serving where I have to interact with people. Which is a good thing because at 37 living in Los Angeles, I'm not even sure I could get a server gig with this deep scowl line between my eyebrows.

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Mar 30, 2023Liked by Monica Danielle

Write no posts a month. Or ten posts a month. Or one post every three years? We are here. And we honor and value your truth. A truth that stands lush and light-filled on its own. I’m so glad you’re back. We need you, we love you. Let’s go.

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Love your writing, will definitely subscribe x

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Mar 30, 2023Liked by Monica Danielle

Cannot believe he will only communicate through the courts, just awful. https://www.midpenn.org/

I'd really like to subscribe, but I don't have the funds to do that long term. Also have no idea how to email you.

Very glad you are back writing again, sorry for what you are going through.

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Best $50 I’ve spent (lately). My jaw literally dropped when I read that he sued you for child support. Long time reader, and always impressed with your honesty, humor, and survival mentality. My youngest goes to kindergarten in the fall, and I get to recreate myself and enter the work world again (I didn’t have my babies till my 40’s, for some reason I feel like I have to explain that I worked for 20 years before I was a SAHM). Good luck!

PS When you used to blog more regularly, I always wondered why your ex didn’t get a job...teach guitar, delivery pizzas, dig ditches ...do something.

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Wow... I knew something was amiss when I happened upon the children's father writing some, ahem, things about his life situation. I do not subscribe to read his writing... because... I do not want to.

He has a gift, but I'm going to stay away from his viewpoint for a while. Anyway, I have read -your- writing since the very very beginning and have always appreciated your stories! This last entry was peppered with 'I'm the girl who...' so it read like in Olden Blog Times. Put down the words on the screen 'cause I'll be there with you!

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Mar 31, 2023Liked by Monica Danielle

Due to being unbearably pedantic and having raised children in a 50/50 custody arrangement in Ohio, I had to look up the statutes in PA to see how in the world he can get child support from you and found this:

"Yes, if you earn more than the child's other parent, you will need to pay child support in Pennsylvania even if you have 50/50 custody ."

This is insane to me. No parent should be financially obligated to the other when time and responsibility is equally shared. This man made his own choices and decided a long time ago that gainful employment was not a priority to him so it really sticks in my craw that you have to suffer financially for his lack of motivation and responsibility.

I'm so sorry, Monica. This is so unfair to you.

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Mar 31, 2023Liked by Monica Danielle

Subscribed! I will always follow your writing and I’m super happy to pay for it and help support you. As always, so grateful for your perspective over all these years.

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Apr 2, 2023Liked by Monica Danielle

The girl who… ♥️ Always loved your writing and I am happy to contribute to read your musings about life. I always come away with a new perspective.

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Dec 27, 2023Liked by Monica Danielle

I cannot believe he's sued you, either (checking in a decade or so later). I just cannot fathom the system that lets men do this- shared custody and you have to pay for him? It's heartbreaking and have too many girlfriends (2 is enough) going through the same with no one even believing this is possible. Of course you could write on 400 topics, but this one would definitely be a public service. Am so sorry. I would not handle that well.

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