I am so happy to hear now well non monogamy has worked for you. You’re right, it is hard work. It’s especially challenging when one partner is more monogamous than poly.
When you talked about your love for Rebecca and how that made your and Cory’s relationship better, I felt that. I won’t go into details here but my partner is poly and when he was able to open up that part of himself and make that work with me, it made our relationship better and he has fallen even more in love with me because he gets to be himself. I love this for you.
I love seeing how supportive you are for Violet. Not that I am surprised at all, but the world needs more of that support and love for non-binary and trans children.
Wow. Such a brave post. A few years back, a Mum I knew at school was getting divorced. We got talking and told me I should be writing about dating post marriage and we ended up having coffee. She had become a polyamorist - saying post marriage the last thing she needed was another controlling relationship. She dated different people for different reasons. She gave me a book to read and another writer mate and I wrote a drama - which meant I interviewed those in quads/triangles/open/poly etc. The conversations blew my mind; like, why wouldn't we all be this way? All my narrow minded questions: 'aren't you jealous or worried that he might fall for someone more than you?' etc. were answered so articulately. Most stray because they aren't happy, but if you are happy and you are open to your partner having relationships, then why would they leave? It all sounded incredibly freeing. That said, it also sounded like there were all kinds of logistics and boundaries discussed - A LOT of discussion. Such as: his date night/her date night/ if kissing is allowed/safe sex practiced etc. Ultimately it was people designing lives that worked for them - that didn't adhere to the escalator of life - the expectations that we all marry/have kids/stayed locked together for eternity.
Hand on heart, I wouldn't be capable of such practice purely through my own insecurities. I'd tie myself in knots. Also, I've only found less than a handful of people attractive since I married - both sexes - mind you, I haven't flirted/opened myself in a way to kind of send out those signals either. But I honestly think it is such an emotionally evolved way to live. I'm so happy for you that you have found such freedom, such joy and such an alive way to live! x
All very true. As a total aside, I’ve found getting a dog has really improved my connection with my husband! We go on daily dog walks and make time to check in with each other more than we used to. Communication - the cornerstone of any relationship I reckon x
I am so happy to hear now well non monogamy has worked for you. You’re right, it is hard work. It’s especially challenging when one partner is more monogamous than poly.
When you talked about your love for Rebecca and how that made your and Cory’s relationship better, I felt that. I won’t go into details here but my partner is poly and when he was able to open up that part of himself and make that work with me, it made our relationship better and he has fallen even more in love with me because he gets to be himself. I love this for you.
I love seeing how supportive you are for Violet. Not that I am surprised at all, but the world needs more of that support and love for non-binary and trans children.
Wow. Such a brave post. A few years back, a Mum I knew at school was getting divorced. We got talking and told me I should be writing about dating post marriage and we ended up having coffee. She had become a polyamorist - saying post marriage the last thing she needed was another controlling relationship. She dated different people for different reasons. She gave me a book to read and another writer mate and I wrote a drama - which meant I interviewed those in quads/triangles/open/poly etc. The conversations blew my mind; like, why wouldn't we all be this way? All my narrow minded questions: 'aren't you jealous or worried that he might fall for someone more than you?' etc. were answered so articulately. Most stray because they aren't happy, but if you are happy and you are open to your partner having relationships, then why would they leave? It all sounded incredibly freeing. That said, it also sounded like there were all kinds of logistics and boundaries discussed - A LOT of discussion. Such as: his date night/her date night/ if kissing is allowed/safe sex practiced etc. Ultimately it was people designing lives that worked for them - that didn't adhere to the escalator of life - the expectations that we all marry/have kids/stayed locked together for eternity.
Hand on heart, I wouldn't be capable of such practice purely through my own insecurities. I'd tie myself in knots. Also, I've only found less than a handful of people attractive since I married - both sexes - mind you, I haven't flirted/opened myself in a way to kind of send out those signals either. But I honestly think it is such an emotionally evolved way to live. I'm so happy for you that you have found such freedom, such joy and such an alive way to live! x
All very true. As a total aside, I’ve found getting a dog has really improved my connection with my husband! We go on daily dog walks and make time to check in with each other more than we used to. Communication - the cornerstone of any relationship I reckon x