I am so happy to read that you found your place in life.
I think we all, deep down, are trying to do the same thing, and I am slowly making my way in a similar direction, from a major city in a western nation, to the capital of another country that is consistently ranked as one of the greenest in the world, to a small town now, with nature a few minutes walk from my front door.
I suspect, in time, there will be another move, to somewhere even smaller. My partner and I both prefer the simple things in life, and one of our greatest joys is mushroom hunting when the season is right, then bringing home several kilos of mushrooms to cook and eat.
As time goes by my partner is teaching me to forage, and showing me which plants and fruits and vegetables are edible, and of course which are not. I might even get a garden and start growing things of my own.
Someone once said that life is what happens when you're busy making other plans. Maybe the trick is to stop making plans and let things happen naturally.
And of course the rooster is an asshole. He's a man!
Your place sounds magical. I’ve never lived in a remote place for any length of time, but, as with Damien below, it is our plan in the next 5 years. Since we are currently in Brooklyn, this means upstate NY. We are always looking at homes/land on the market and dreaming about going for it. I especially enjoyed seeing the pictures of you and your family in this piece. Thanks for sharing all of it.
Feb 9, 2022·edited Feb 9, 2022Liked by Monica Danielle
Reflecting on this some more, I am struck by how you and Cory felt similarly from the start about the property—cat piss notwithstanding😬—and the leap. A blessing. This knowing you describe very well, was introduced to me academically while in my training for acupuncture. Credited most specifically to Gendlin, the term bodily-felt-sense describes the most certain and emphatic type of knowing: “a special kind of internal body awareness…a body-sense of meaning.”
Looking up Gendlin before writing this comment, I was pleased to discover another facet to this idea—one I was not taught previously: “the Gendlian ‘body’ extends beyond the skin. For Gendlin, the ‘body’ is a ‘vastly larger system’ such that the ‘felt sense’ is the entire situation.”
Wow what a read. I feel like we are in opposite places in life. I grew up in suburbia near farms and such. Not quite to the extent that you are in now but you know I'm from State College. Now I crave the metropolitan life but not too metro. I still need that hybrid which is why I am in New Jersey. I love your take on nature and how you brought up society and masculinity. Something to think about for sure.
This makes me super envious!! My husband and I are farm kids who couldn't wait to leave for the city. We live in a very urban area now, but our city has thousands of wooded acres and parks, so we live back in the woods of a metropolitan area.... it's not remote enough for me. I could move to the middle of nowhere tomorrow and be happy as a clam. Right now, both of our businesses are super dependent on being in the city and our house, that we've been renovating since 2013 is finally mostly done, but the five year plan is to save save save, then sell everything and move. I cannot wait. Totally craving the peace you're experiencing.
Great to find you writing again. So envious of your situation. My husband and and I are both from Los Angeles and have family here (unfortunately, less of mine after the last couple years). I long for a quieter life. A small house on some big land. A place where I end as many days relaxed, laughing, and watching my kids play baseball from the back porch, each shouting something about a World Series win while they run bases made of twigs, as I do feeling bone tired and exhausted with that borderline pleasurable soreness that comes from spending the day working with my hands outdoors.
We’re fortunate that we’re able to afford to live here (I feel like it’s important I’m transparent here: in laws loaned us money for a down payment when we got kicked out of our rental. We work hard - my husband is a 4th grade teacher and I work a high stress corporate job, but being able to buy a home in LA in this market was ALL privledge). But sometimes I wish there was some reason we HAD to move. My husband hates change and even good arguments for moving don’t stand much of a chance against resistance to change. I spent a little under six months hiking a long distance trail and that time in the wilderness where my energy was spent on walking and my focus was on meeting my own basic needs…I was never happier, never healthier (both physically and mentally…the mental health being part of the reason I decided to hike the trail), never more accepting of what is, never more forgiving of what is or isn’t. I just know I’m meant to be in the middle of the woods. But our kids both go to the best public middle school in the city and are both in advanced programs they love and both play for the same baseball organization they love, etc etc. I don’t want to disrupt their lives because I think more trees will benefit my mental health but I also hate the idea that there’s another version of me they only ever see when we go camping or backpacking. A more relaxed version of mom.
“Allowing our bodies to guide us to deeper knowledge and healing.” This is everything. I sometimes make decisions that go against what I feel is best in order to make someone else happy. And when I do that for big/important decisions, I feel almost sick to my stomach. When I look back on some of the bad decisions I’ve made in my life, I find I almost always KNEW I was making the wrong decision. Not when I was 15 and stupid based on age alone, but I honestly do look back at what some would consider regrets and remember having that sick feeling when the decision was made. When I go with my gut (balanced with *some* logic), I never regret it. There’s usually a physical feeling that accompanies those decisions as well. It’s fear. Because following your gut, especially when it goes against the grain, is brave and scary. And we should let ourselves feel that. We should notice that instead of dread and anxiety, we’re feeling a different kind of nervous energy…excitement!
Sorry for the long response but I just loved this piece!
I missed your writing and am so happy to have found your newsletter! I always considered myself an urban woman, but during the pandemic, I realized I was craving more nature and less human interaction…so this text spoke to me big time! My husband and I purchased a piece of land overlooking the st-Laurence river (Charlevoix, Qc, Canada) and are building a getaway. I cannot wait for it to be finished so I can experience something similar to your communion with nature 🙏🏻
I am so happy to read that you found your place in life.
I think we all, deep down, are trying to do the same thing, and I am slowly making my way in a similar direction, from a major city in a western nation, to the capital of another country that is consistently ranked as one of the greenest in the world, to a small town now, with nature a few minutes walk from my front door.
I suspect, in time, there will be another move, to somewhere even smaller. My partner and I both prefer the simple things in life, and one of our greatest joys is mushroom hunting when the season is right, then bringing home several kilos of mushrooms to cook and eat.
As time goes by my partner is teaching me to forage, and showing me which plants and fruits and vegetables are edible, and of course which are not. I might even get a garden and start growing things of my own.
Someone once said that life is what happens when you're busy making other plans. Maybe the trick is to stop making plans and let things happen naturally.
And of course the rooster is an asshole. He's a man!
Your place sounds magical. I’ve never lived in a remote place for any length of time, but, as with Damien below, it is our plan in the next 5 years. Since we are currently in Brooklyn, this means upstate NY. We are always looking at homes/land on the market and dreaming about going for it. I especially enjoyed seeing the pictures of you and your family in this piece. Thanks for sharing all of it.
Reflecting on this some more, I am struck by how you and Cory felt similarly from the start about the property—cat piss notwithstanding😬—and the leap. A blessing. This knowing you describe very well, was introduced to me academically while in my training for acupuncture. Credited most specifically to Gendlin, the term bodily-felt-sense describes the most certain and emphatic type of knowing: “a special kind of internal body awareness…a body-sense of meaning.”
Looking up Gendlin before writing this comment, I was pleased to discover another facet to this idea—one I was not taught previously: “the Gendlian ‘body’ extends beyond the skin. For Gendlin, the ‘body’ is a ‘vastly larger system’ such that the ‘felt sense’ is the entire situation.”
Wow what a read. I feel like we are in opposite places in life. I grew up in suburbia near farms and such. Not quite to the extent that you are in now but you know I'm from State College. Now I crave the metropolitan life but not too metro. I still need that hybrid which is why I am in New Jersey. I love your take on nature and how you brought up society and masculinity. Something to think about for sure.
This makes me super envious!! My husband and I are farm kids who couldn't wait to leave for the city. We live in a very urban area now, but our city has thousands of wooded acres and parks, so we live back in the woods of a metropolitan area.... it's not remote enough for me. I could move to the middle of nowhere tomorrow and be happy as a clam. Right now, both of our businesses are super dependent on being in the city and our house, that we've been renovating since 2013 is finally mostly done, but the five year plan is to save save save, then sell everything and move. I cannot wait. Totally craving the peace you're experiencing.
Great to find you writing again. So envious of your situation. My husband and and I are both from Los Angeles and have family here (unfortunately, less of mine after the last couple years). I long for a quieter life. A small house on some big land. A place where I end as many days relaxed, laughing, and watching my kids play baseball from the back porch, each shouting something about a World Series win while they run bases made of twigs, as I do feeling bone tired and exhausted with that borderline pleasurable soreness that comes from spending the day working with my hands outdoors.
We’re fortunate that we’re able to afford to live here (I feel like it’s important I’m transparent here: in laws loaned us money for a down payment when we got kicked out of our rental. We work hard - my husband is a 4th grade teacher and I work a high stress corporate job, but being able to buy a home in LA in this market was ALL privledge). But sometimes I wish there was some reason we HAD to move. My husband hates change and even good arguments for moving don’t stand much of a chance against resistance to change. I spent a little under six months hiking a long distance trail and that time in the wilderness where my energy was spent on walking and my focus was on meeting my own basic needs…I was never happier, never healthier (both physically and mentally…the mental health being part of the reason I decided to hike the trail), never more accepting of what is, never more forgiving of what is or isn’t. I just know I’m meant to be in the middle of the woods. But our kids both go to the best public middle school in the city and are both in advanced programs they love and both play for the same baseball organization they love, etc etc. I don’t want to disrupt their lives because I think more trees will benefit my mental health but I also hate the idea that there’s another version of me they only ever see when we go camping or backpacking. A more relaxed version of mom.
“Allowing our bodies to guide us to deeper knowledge and healing.” This is everything. I sometimes make decisions that go against what I feel is best in order to make someone else happy. And when I do that for big/important decisions, I feel almost sick to my stomach. When I look back on some of the bad decisions I’ve made in my life, I find I almost always KNEW I was making the wrong decision. Not when I was 15 and stupid based on age alone, but I honestly do look back at what some would consider regrets and remember having that sick feeling when the decision was made. When I go with my gut (balanced with *some* logic), I never regret it. There’s usually a physical feeling that accompanies those decisions as well. It’s fear. Because following your gut, especially when it goes against the grain, is brave and scary. And we should let ourselves feel that. We should notice that instead of dread and anxiety, we’re feeling a different kind of nervous energy…excitement!
Sorry for the long response but I just loved this piece!
I missed your writing and am so happy to have found your newsletter! I always considered myself an urban woman, but during the pandemic, I realized I was craving more nature and less human interaction…so this text spoke to me big time! My husband and I purchased a piece of land overlooking the st-Laurence river (Charlevoix, Qc, Canada) and are building a getaway. I cannot wait for it to be finished so I can experience something similar to your communion with nature 🙏🏻