I have had a fantastic experience with DBT. I have anxiety and depression. This therapy is tailored toward those with BPD but my therapist suggested it. I’m in a group, virtually, led by a therapist highly trained in this field. It has truly been a lifesaver, improving my overall outlook on life, especially the day to day stuff, as well as my relationships. Highly recommend! 😊
That’s really exciting to hear. I don’t know if it’s just because I’m finally paying attention or it’s been happening for a while but it seems like there are so many new and interesting therapy techniques that feel so much more helpful than what I believed therapy to be about when I was in my thirties. Thanks for steering me in the DBT direction. Definitely interested in checking out new things. 🙂
If you give it a shot, reply back here some day and let me know what you think. Feel free to post any questions here too. Happy to spread awareness about it. Thanks for always putting yourself out there. Been reading your stuff since your NYC days. ♥️♥️♥️
This post made me so happy. You look happy. I relate so much because at 45 I began training as a counsellor. If I could afford it I would have therapy still… I too was raised in chaos, carving out my own safe spaces and love. It left me a people pleaser - with a shaky sense of self with a massive external locus of evaluation. But time, a family, and the course helped me see myself too. I still react when stressed or fearful. Like a Russian doll - I still carry those other Suzannes inside me… It took me to the same age to work out we can only control ourselves. I still try to control - worrying about my son’s grades - will he get to Uni? Etc. I still need tidy all the time as tidy was what I could control as a kid. But I forgive myself. Just have you have done with you. You really do have the best years ahead. The fearless years. Well done to you. Lastly, it’s a lifelong journey getting to know ourselves. Wish you were closer x
Always excited to see a comment from you! We're living such similar lives. This all resonates on such a deep level for me but what I never connected until your comment was my need to have a clean, uncluttered home. I obsessively keep on top of dishes and laundry, especially. Cannot sleep if there are dirty dishes in the sink. I have a relentless need for a tidy home to prove to myself I am successfully adulting in ways my parents did not. A dirty home feels sary, as if I'm on the edge of a dysfunctional abyss I may not be able to get out of if I fall in. I also overspend on groceries so there is always delicious food in the house to compensate for a childhood of food stamps and powdered milk. I used to hide cans of Campbell soup and Spaghettios is my dresser drawer because knowing I had food and could control when it was consumed made me feel safe. Knowing the food was there was better than actually eating it.
Thank you for your thoughts, I wish we were closer too <3
It really is hard to overstate how amazing it can be! I viewed therapy so differently in my thirties: This negative cliche of some self-obsessed person whining about their shitty childhood, not realizing that my view of therapy was part of my trauma.
No one in my family has voluntarily gone to therapy (there have been some court-ordered scenarios) but after feeling so much pain, anger and helplessness for so long, I finally found the right therapist for me (finding the right therapist as a whole other newsletter and totally comparable to swiping on Tinder) and realized therapy is a privilege, a perspective shifting, game-changing scenario that I wish everyone had the opportunity to go through.
I love your stardust sharing energy. I’ve read you since the very very beginning and I’m so happy to read about your life now.
A good therapist is life changing. I have mine also who helped me look at the world objectively instead of fearfully. Mine uses EMDR in various ways and it was too much for me with the lights though I want to get back to it. It puts you right in your trauma and your soul bursts through. There are lights, but the vibrating things in your hands are what worked for me so far.
Thank you <3 It's alway wild to hear from people who've been reading since waaay back. It makes me so happy. I'm glad you're still here and glad you've found life-changing therapy! I hear lots of good things about EMDR, it's so fascinating.
Just out of curiosity, did you do DBT?
No, but I’ve read a fair bit about techniques involved in DBT, IFS and EMDR. If you have any thoughts or suggestions I’d love to hear. 💜
I have had a fantastic experience with DBT. I have anxiety and depression. This therapy is tailored toward those with BPD but my therapist suggested it. I’m in a group, virtually, led by a therapist highly trained in this field. It has truly been a lifesaver, improving my overall outlook on life, especially the day to day stuff, as well as my relationships. Highly recommend! 😊
That’s really exciting to hear. I don’t know if it’s just because I’m finally paying attention or it’s been happening for a while but it seems like there are so many new and interesting therapy techniques that feel so much more helpful than what I believed therapy to be about when I was in my thirties. Thanks for steering me in the DBT direction. Definitely interested in checking out new things. 🙂
If you give it a shot, reply back here some day and let me know what you think. Feel free to post any questions here too. Happy to spread awareness about it. Thanks for always putting yourself out there. Been reading your stuff since your NYC days. ♥️♥️♥️
This made me cry. I LYSM. And him for helping bring you back to you. ❤️
Favorite human. ♥️ Thanks for always being so supportive
❤️❤️🔥
This post made me so happy. You look happy. I relate so much because at 45 I began training as a counsellor. If I could afford it I would have therapy still… I too was raised in chaos, carving out my own safe spaces and love. It left me a people pleaser - with a shaky sense of self with a massive external locus of evaluation. But time, a family, and the course helped me see myself too. I still react when stressed or fearful. Like a Russian doll - I still carry those other Suzannes inside me… It took me to the same age to work out we can only control ourselves. I still try to control - worrying about my son’s grades - will he get to Uni? Etc. I still need tidy all the time as tidy was what I could control as a kid. But I forgive myself. Just have you have done with you. You really do have the best years ahead. The fearless years. Well done to you. Lastly, it’s a lifelong journey getting to know ourselves. Wish you were closer x
Always excited to see a comment from you! We're living such similar lives. This all resonates on such a deep level for me but what I never connected until your comment was my need to have a clean, uncluttered home. I obsessively keep on top of dishes and laundry, especially. Cannot sleep if there are dirty dishes in the sink. I have a relentless need for a tidy home to prove to myself I am successfully adulting in ways my parents did not. A dirty home feels sary, as if I'm on the edge of a dysfunctional abyss I may not be able to get out of if I fall in. I also overspend on groceries so there is always delicious food in the house to compensate for a childhood of food stamps and powdered milk. I used to hide cans of Campbell soup and Spaghettios is my dresser drawer because knowing I had food and could control when it was consumed made me feel safe. Knowing the food was there was better than actually eating it.
Thank you for your thoughts, I wish we were closer too <3
I’m so happy for you! The right therapist and the courage to do the work can be so life-changing. You clearly had both. ❤️
It really is hard to overstate how amazing it can be! I viewed therapy so differently in my thirties: This negative cliche of some self-obsessed person whining about their shitty childhood, not realizing that my view of therapy was part of my trauma.
No one in my family has voluntarily gone to therapy (there have been some court-ordered scenarios) but after feeling so much pain, anger and helplessness for so long, I finally found the right therapist for me (finding the right therapist as a whole other newsletter and totally comparable to swiping on Tinder) and realized therapy is a privilege, a perspective shifting, game-changing scenario that I wish everyone had the opportunity to go through.
Thanks for reading ♥️
I’m so happy you have found your peace 🤍
♥️ trying!
I love your stardust sharing energy. I’ve read you since the very very beginning and I’m so happy to read about your life now.
A good therapist is life changing. I have mine also who helped me look at the world objectively instead of fearfully. Mine uses EMDR in various ways and it was too much for me with the lights though I want to get back to it. It puts you right in your trauma and your soul bursts through. There are lights, but the vibrating things in your hands are what worked for me so far.
Thank you <3 It's alway wild to hear from people who've been reading since waaay back. It makes me so happy. I'm glad you're still here and glad you've found life-changing therapy! I hear lots of good things about EMDR, it's so fascinating.