HOLY FUCKING SHIT. I mean...... just fucking wow. Those dudes are straight up predators if they're writing those kind of details down. I know almost nothing about the LDS church (only what I've learned from South Park, The Book of Mormon, and Big Love) but it has always struck me as gross, racist and rapey.
I stand by those assertions.
I'm so sorry, Monica.... no girl/woman should ever have to be used that like that.
BARF.
I was brought up by Scandinavian Episcopalians who bought us condoms and let me get on the pill when I was 14. Not that I was immune to the patriarchal bullshit, but I can't even imagine going through what you did. Hugs, my friend.
Yeah, I've thought about it a lot. Trying to get inside my 14-year-old mind and remember the actual vibe when he asked the questions... I was super grossed out and uncomfortable but I don't think I was able to tell if dude was getting off on it or, like my mom said, "a good guy" trying to do what he thinks is god's work. Either way, any man who isn't a medical doctor or psychologist should feel super uncomfortable asking young girls (and boys) these kinds of intrusive sex questions, God's work, or no. Thanks for reading and for the kind words! I really appreciate it! Writing this one really put me through it. My alcohol consumption definitely doubled this week!
This is some real trauma right here, wrapped in a cloak of religion. It has to hurt to bring these memories up. I'm just disgusted for 14 year old Monica. God love her <3
The collective damage that religion has done is mind-boggling. The newest episode of The Liturgists podcast briefly touches on the importance of reclaiming the divine feminine, and the lasting damage caused by its erasure. “How power has subordinated, abused and exploited the Earth again and again, is actually how power has subordinated, subjected, wronged the feminine. The two go absolutely hand in hand.” The guest (a teacher of Celtic Christianity, which I had never heard of until this morning) also briefly mentions sexuality and spirituality. “In most religious circles, it’s ‘be fruitful and multiply, but don’t enjoy it.’” Mmhmm. Why’s that, I wonder.
I’ve spent years trying to unpack and redefine the word “God” (which many would no doubt proclaim a blasphemous endeavor). It still is difficult to detach that word from the visual, visceral masculine deity/power/judge that was carved into my bones back in Sunday School. But I’m determined to do it.
Mostly what I wanted to say, though, was that I hate hate haaaate that you had to endure all that you did. It is beyond evil.
When women enjoy sex it gives them power and men can't deal. I have a friend who is probably the most sexual woman I know. Loves sex in about the same way the average man does. Could have it every night. She met a guy who had a great time with that, told her she's the best sex of his life but fairly soon thereafter he broke up with her by telling her things like she's just "too much" and he doesn't think he can handle it. Strange, no? Best sex ever but she's just "too much" even though her appetite pretty evenly matched his. Women can't win. Either we're not having enough sex for men or if we are it weirds them out that we love it "too much."
I'm on the same journey of figuring out what "god" means to me now as well. Buddhist notions have helped immensely.
Also, hi! I was so hoping to see you here and I'm thrilled/honored a writer of your caliber is reading. Thank you for your kind words and thoughtful comment.
Wow. Just....wow. I hurt and am sooo uncomfortable for you in that seat. I just really can't imagine it. Reading/hearing things like that make me crazy.
I got so angry reading this. Angry that you had to go through that. Angry that countless other young girls have had to go through that. And angry that young girls STILL have to go through that.
I have nothing positive to add right now, which also angers me somewhat as I always try to find some sort of positive in your writing.
But what happened to you was despicable, and so I guess all I can really say is thank you, for being brave enough to share your story, which will let others know that they are not alone
HOLY FUCKING SHIT. I mean...... just fucking wow. Those dudes are straight up predators if they're writing those kind of details down. I know almost nothing about the LDS church (only what I've learned from South Park, The Book of Mormon, and Big Love) but it has always struck me as gross, racist and rapey.
I stand by those assertions.
I'm so sorry, Monica.... no girl/woman should ever have to be used that like that.
BARF.
I was brought up by Scandinavian Episcopalians who bought us condoms and let me get on the pill when I was 14. Not that I was immune to the patriarchal bullshit, but I can't even imagine going through what you did. Hugs, my friend.
Yeah, I've thought about it a lot. Trying to get inside my 14-year-old mind and remember the actual vibe when he asked the questions... I was super grossed out and uncomfortable but I don't think I was able to tell if dude was getting off on it or, like my mom said, "a good guy" trying to do what he thinks is god's work. Either way, any man who isn't a medical doctor or psychologist should feel super uncomfortable asking young girls (and boys) these kinds of intrusive sex questions, God's work, or no. Thanks for reading and for the kind words! I really appreciate it! Writing this one really put me through it. My alcohol consumption definitely doubled this week!
Also, interestingly, some bishops DO feel that asking sexual questions is wrong and don't do it. This article was shocking yet comforting >>> https://friendlyatheist.patheos.com/2017/11/06/mormon-bishops-are-asking-children-intrusive-questions-about-their-sex-lives/
This is some real trauma right here, wrapped in a cloak of religion. It has to hurt to bring these memories up. I'm just disgusted for 14 year old Monica. God love her <3
The collective damage that religion has done is mind-boggling. The newest episode of The Liturgists podcast briefly touches on the importance of reclaiming the divine feminine, and the lasting damage caused by its erasure. “How power has subordinated, abused and exploited the Earth again and again, is actually how power has subordinated, subjected, wronged the feminine. The two go absolutely hand in hand.” The guest (a teacher of Celtic Christianity, which I had never heard of until this morning) also briefly mentions sexuality and spirituality. “In most religious circles, it’s ‘be fruitful and multiply, but don’t enjoy it.’” Mmhmm. Why’s that, I wonder.
I’ve spent years trying to unpack and redefine the word “God” (which many would no doubt proclaim a blasphemous endeavor). It still is difficult to detach that word from the visual, visceral masculine deity/power/judge that was carved into my bones back in Sunday School. But I’m determined to do it.
Mostly what I wanted to say, though, was that I hate hate haaaate that you had to endure all that you did. It is beyond evil.
When women enjoy sex it gives them power and men can't deal. I have a friend who is probably the most sexual woman I know. Loves sex in about the same way the average man does. Could have it every night. She met a guy who had a great time with that, told her she's the best sex of his life but fairly soon thereafter he broke up with her by telling her things like she's just "too much" and he doesn't think he can handle it. Strange, no? Best sex ever but she's just "too much" even though her appetite pretty evenly matched his. Women can't win. Either we're not having enough sex for men or if we are it weirds them out that we love it "too much."
I'm on the same journey of figuring out what "god" means to me now as well. Buddhist notions have helped immensely.
Also, hi! I was so hoping to see you here and I'm thrilled/honored a writer of your caliber is reading. Thank you for your kind words and thoughtful comment.
Wow. Just....wow. I hurt and am sooo uncomfortable for you in that seat. I just really can't imagine it. Reading/hearing things like that make me crazy.
I got so angry reading this. Angry that you had to go through that. Angry that countless other young girls have had to go through that. And angry that young girls STILL have to go through that.
I have nothing positive to add right now, which also angers me somewhat as I always try to find some sort of positive in your writing.
But what happened to you was despicable, and so I guess all I can really say is thank you, for being brave enough to share your story, which will let others know that they are not alone