I’m right there with you. I’ve been feeling absolutely insane for over a year and finally went and got my hormones checked and also have high TSH, and my PCP warned me that based on the other symptoms I described it sounds like I may be entering EARLY perimenopause. At 38. Lucky me! 🤡
I was already dealing with wretched PMDD, ADHD, and an autoimmune condition beforehand and perimenopause has exacerbated all of those conditions. It definitely makes ADHD symptoms worse. And the brain fog. Oh, the brain fog. I can’t even do some of the work I used to do because I can’t remember how to use certain Adobe programs I used to use all the time. 🤦🏻♀️ I’ve gained thirty pounds over the last few years (when I used to constantly hover around a solid 140) and I spent more days bleeding in December than I spent not bleeding. My period is super irregular and I never know when I’ll start. My PCP told me I could be in this stage for up to TEN YEARS since it’s EARLY perimenopause. Fuck it, I’m ready to enter my crone era.
Aw, shit. I feel you so hard. I was also diagnosed with ADHD. That + the brain fog has been a real motherfucker this year. I feel like I spent a ton of time wandering around my house stumbling onto a new thing I need to do, starting it and discovering another thing and never finishing the first thing. Like, get in the shower, notice the dirty walls and end up cleaning those and getting out of the shower without even washing my body. Shit like that ALL day long. And work, forget about it. I just try to say one somewhat intelligent thing per Zoom meeting and hope it suffices.
I’ll leave a link to this Reddit thread I found where women with ADHD share their experiences with perimenopause because let me tell you I SAW MYSELF in there. Looks like we just gotta knuckle down and lean into it. 👹 (Perimenopause really makes me embody the red face maniacally-grinning demon emoji.)
After nursing for a year, then waiting a few months for my period to finally return (it was glorious not having a period for almost 2 years!)
It came back with a heavy vengeance. I had been on the pill for most of my adult life and having very light and short periods, and never any period issues, to practically bleeding out each month, I still have the stains to remind me, so I got an ablation two years ago...best decision, no more periods.
But I also am going through “the change” and forget words, why I walked into a room, what I was searching for on my phone, etc. How could I have a baby at 44 and be peri-menopausal at 46? I almost wish we knew less about this hormonal roller coaster that we signed up for by being born with vaginas. But it feels so good to read that you’re going through it too. It’s like when I hit 46 my body just said, fuck it, we’re done. Dry skin, thinning hair, and the best part? All the stupid fucking ads I get online that remind me that my body is slowly shutting down. The internet knows me so well.
And yet, you motivated me to go to the gym today. So thank you for that.
You know what else happens? UTIs. Or at least feeling like you have UTIs all of the time. AND at night, overactive bladder.
I'm at the stage where when I'm talking to you, I will forget what I'm talking about in mid-sentence, and I'll forget your name. It only lasts about ten seconds... but it's still awkward.
Oh! And I don't know what my periods are going to do next! Are we going to have three periods this month? Two? None? LET'S WAIT AND SEE.
One period, two periods, three periods, no periods. A half a period! Plus overactive bladder (so. much. bladder action) and an underactive thyroid. What the fucking fuck? And yes, forgetting what I'm saying mid-sentence and constantly grasping for people's names. Everyone please list all your symptoms because it feels so good to know it's all perfectly normal!
For sure. I never shut up about it. Ask my husband.
Oh, and my "personal summers" that have me stripping as much off as humanly possible in the Kroger without getting myself jailed for indecent exposure.
Ugh. Yeah. During my divorce I lost a lot of hair (stress) that eventually grew back and I am, once again, noticing a similar hair thinning trend around my forehead. 😐
I’m older than you and peri menopause was hell for me. No sleep for 5 years and migraines 2x a month? Aces. Mary Claire Haver MD has made it her mission to find relief for 51% of the population. Highly recommend...
I have read it!! I bought it. She also has a great TikTok account because she finds new studies all the time. It appears there are 50+ symptoms. I had frozen shoulder which was the most painful experience I ever (and I have had uncountable injuries). Bladder issues are also a main symptom as your readers have noted. As Dr Haver says: menopause is inevitable if we live long enough, suffering is not. 💛
Awesome resource. I hope more people find this and post more stories and links. It's amazing how comforting it is to just know other women are experiencing the same weird shit.
Love this. I’m 50. Had a partial hysterectomy at 42 (months shy of 43) because my periods were HELL. One week of insane PMT. Then severe bleeding - then a week of weird pink/yellow goo not unlike the post partum lochia bleed. Turned out I had a fibroid the size of an egg. Got it taken out. No help at all. After a failed ablation operation the docs decided to to just ship out my womb and cervix. Meaning I have no periods. (BLISS). Also - no idea where I am on the menopause spectrum. But the brain fog - holy shit - the other day I asked my husband for ‘tooth thread stuff’ because I couldn’t remember the word for floss. Conversations with menopausal mates starts, digresses, forgets, stalls and we all go ‘what were we talking about?’ No one remembers. In the past year I notice the old lady thin skin, my hair but a whisper, my middle thickening daily. If I even sniff a biscuit I put on 3kg. No lines on my face but the hollows under my eyes - you could grow potatoes in. I’m more tired. Libido stagnates. I knew NOTHING about this. Just like no one told me how hard and lovely early motherhood was… I often feel cheated that I haven’t had someone - a mentor type - a life doula of sorts - to help me navigate womanhood and all its challenges. Thank you for this. Xx
“Tooth thread stuff” is my entire day. I don’t know how I’m still employed. You’re such a good writer, are you still writing? Here’s to getting thru menopause together, you have my email!
Ahhh I write full time for. living - scripts that is. My latest show - 'The Serial Killer's Wife' (80s thriller type) is on Paramount Plus now and I'm about to start a new one. Wish I was writing on The Bear, or Hacks, or something as utterly devastating as Blackbird, - but thrillers are a lot of fun as well... I do want to get back to blogging (did an overview of my year on my oldcrummymummywhodrinks blog) and at some point may set up a substack to just chew the fat on. But coupled with a job counselling teens at a school one day a week and two teenagers of my own - (one about to maybe head to college eek!) I'm flat out time wise. Plus a dog!
Thanks for this. I am post-menopause now, but started peri-menopause in my mid-thirties. I went on a low-dose pill at that point to regulate my hormones, which were out of control and all over the place. I was losing my mind. Then, in my late 40's my doc made me go off of the pill, because my blood pressure was high, and apparently the pill can cause that or make it worse. However, once I went off the pill, I never got my period again. So, I guess in some ways, I skipped the worst of perimenopause. I will say this though, once your period is gone, hormone fuckery does not go away, at least it didn't for me. Now you just don't know where in your "cycle" you are because you don't get your period to clue you in. So, look forward to that, heh. And I still get cramps sometimes, which is completely unfair. Boo.
I’m right there with you. I’ve been feeling absolutely insane for over a year and finally went and got my hormones checked and also have high TSH, and my PCP warned me that based on the other symptoms I described it sounds like I may be entering EARLY perimenopause. At 38. Lucky me! 🤡
I was already dealing with wretched PMDD, ADHD, and an autoimmune condition beforehand and perimenopause has exacerbated all of those conditions. It definitely makes ADHD symptoms worse. And the brain fog. Oh, the brain fog. I can’t even do some of the work I used to do because I can’t remember how to use certain Adobe programs I used to use all the time. 🤦🏻♀️ I’ve gained thirty pounds over the last few years (when I used to constantly hover around a solid 140) and I spent more days bleeding in December than I spent not bleeding. My period is super irregular and I never know when I’ll start. My PCP told me I could be in this stage for up to TEN YEARS since it’s EARLY perimenopause. Fuck it, I’m ready to enter my crone era.
Aw, shit. I feel you so hard. I was also diagnosed with ADHD. That + the brain fog has been a real motherfucker this year. I feel like I spent a ton of time wandering around my house stumbling onto a new thing I need to do, starting it and discovering another thing and never finishing the first thing. Like, get in the shower, notice the dirty walls and end up cleaning those and getting out of the shower without even washing my body. Shit like that ALL day long. And work, forget about it. I just try to say one somewhat intelligent thing per Zoom meeting and hope it suffices.
I’ll leave a link to this Reddit thread I found where women with ADHD share their experiences with perimenopause because let me tell you I SAW MYSELF in there. Looks like we just gotta knuckle down and lean into it. 👹 (Perimenopause really makes me embody the red face maniacally-grinning demon emoji.)
https://www.reddit.com/r/adhdwomen/s/VWw5VxI6ll
I’m so glad you posted that Reddit link. So many good stories. And this link was in the thread too https://youtu.be/GVRDGQhoEYQ?si=rHR3K8Q--JHfHFyU
After nursing for a year, then waiting a few months for my period to finally return (it was glorious not having a period for almost 2 years!)
It came back with a heavy vengeance. I had been on the pill for most of my adult life and having very light and short periods, and never any period issues, to practically bleeding out each month, I still have the stains to remind me, so I got an ablation two years ago...best decision, no more periods.
But I also am going through “the change” and forget words, why I walked into a room, what I was searching for on my phone, etc. How could I have a baby at 44 and be peri-menopausal at 46? I almost wish we knew less about this hormonal roller coaster that we signed up for by being born with vaginas. But it feels so good to read that you’re going through it too. It’s like when I hit 46 my body just said, fuck it, we’re done. Dry skin, thinning hair, and the best part? All the stupid fucking ads I get online that remind me that my body is slowly shutting down. The internet knows me so well.
And yet, you motivated me to go to the gym today. So thank you for that.
You know what else happens? UTIs. Or at least feeling like you have UTIs all of the time. AND at night, overactive bladder.
I'm at the stage where when I'm talking to you, I will forget what I'm talking about in mid-sentence, and I'll forget your name. It only lasts about ten seconds... but it's still awkward.
Oh! And I don't know what my periods are going to do next! Are we going to have three periods this month? Two? None? LET'S WAIT AND SEE.
One period, two periods, three periods, no periods. A half a period! Plus overactive bladder (so. much. bladder action) and an underactive thyroid. What the fucking fuck? And yes, forgetting what I'm saying mid-sentence and constantly grasping for people's names. Everyone please list all your symptoms because it feels so good to know it's all perfectly normal!
For sure. I never shut up about it. Ask my husband.
Oh, and my "personal summers" that have me stripping as much off as humanly possible in the Kroger without getting myself jailed for indecent exposure.
You forgot (fe)male pattern baldness
Ugh. Yeah. During my divorce I lost a lot of hair (stress) that eventually grew back and I am, once again, noticing a similar hair thinning trend around my forehead. 😐
I’m older than you and peri menopause was hell for me. No sleep for 5 years and migraines 2x a month? Aces. Mary Claire Haver MD has made it her mission to find relief for 51% of the population. Highly recommend...
Happy New Year, Mz. Monica!
Karen, this is a great resource! Def picking up this book!! Have you read it? https://thepauselife.com/?gad_source=1&gclid=EAIaIQobChMItoSq-bq-gwMV-GVHAR1Qwg3tEAAYASAAEgLh8PD_BwE
I have read it!! I bought it. She also has a great TikTok account because she finds new studies all the time. It appears there are 50+ symptoms. I had frozen shoulder which was the most painful experience I ever (and I have had uncountable injuries). Bladder issues are also a main symptom as your readers have noted. As Dr Haver says: menopause is inevitable if we live long enough, suffering is not. 💛
Awesome resource. I hope more people find this and post more stories and links. It's amazing how comforting it is to just know other women are experiencing the same weird shit.
Yes! Many women think they’re going crazy when what has happened is all their estrogen is •bam• gone. It.is.hard.
Love this. I’m 50. Had a partial hysterectomy at 42 (months shy of 43) because my periods were HELL. One week of insane PMT. Then severe bleeding - then a week of weird pink/yellow goo not unlike the post partum lochia bleed. Turned out I had a fibroid the size of an egg. Got it taken out. No help at all. After a failed ablation operation the docs decided to to just ship out my womb and cervix. Meaning I have no periods. (BLISS). Also - no idea where I am on the menopause spectrum. But the brain fog - holy shit - the other day I asked my husband for ‘tooth thread stuff’ because I couldn’t remember the word for floss. Conversations with menopausal mates starts, digresses, forgets, stalls and we all go ‘what were we talking about?’ No one remembers. In the past year I notice the old lady thin skin, my hair but a whisper, my middle thickening daily. If I even sniff a biscuit I put on 3kg. No lines on my face but the hollows under my eyes - you could grow potatoes in. I’m more tired. Libido stagnates. I knew NOTHING about this. Just like no one told me how hard and lovely early motherhood was… I often feel cheated that I haven’t had someone - a mentor type - a life doula of sorts - to help me navigate womanhood and all its challenges. Thank you for this. Xx
“Tooth thread stuff” is my entire day. I don’t know how I’m still employed. You’re such a good writer, are you still writing? Here’s to getting thru menopause together, you have my email!
Ahhh I write full time for. living - scripts that is. My latest show - 'The Serial Killer's Wife' (80s thriller type) is on Paramount Plus now and I'm about to start a new one. Wish I was writing on The Bear, or Hacks, or something as utterly devastating as Blackbird, - but thrillers are a lot of fun as well... I do want to get back to blogging (did an overview of my year on my oldcrummymummywhodrinks blog) and at some point may set up a substack to just chew the fat on. But coupled with a job counselling teens at a school one day a week and two teenagers of my own - (one about to maybe head to college eek!) I'm flat out time wise. Plus a dog!
If you start a substack, be sure and send me the link!
XXXX
Thanks for this. I am post-menopause now, but started peri-menopause in my mid-thirties. I went on a low-dose pill at that point to regulate my hormones, which were out of control and all over the place. I was losing my mind. Then, in my late 40's my doc made me go off of the pill, because my blood pressure was high, and apparently the pill can cause that or make it worse. However, once I went off the pill, I never got my period again. So, I guess in some ways, I skipped the worst of perimenopause. I will say this though, once your period is gone, hormone fuckery does not go away, at least it didn't for me. Now you just don't know where in your "cycle" you are because you don't get your period to clue you in. So, look forward to that, heh. And I still get cramps sometimes, which is completely unfair. Boo.