I know how hard it is to accept that and how hard it is to put trauma from the past to bed. You're going to be okay.
Also? Now that you're in the restaurant biz, how are you liking the Bear? The first season and now this season has started up my serving dreams again from my 20s. I'm on a section of twenty tables that all sat at the same time and I'm the only server and there are rats running around and I have to navigate a tight crowd with a tray of martinis.
Haha. Serving nightmares. Same. I dream I'm mixing up orders, way behind and the new tickets keep coming. I am LOVING The Bear. Didn't think they could top the first season but they did! Watching last episode of second season tonight. How about that episode with Jamie Lee Curtis? Jesus. So good I was triggered. I know that family dynamic well.
Fishes was a wild ride.... it kind of made me thankful that I come from a WASP/SCANDINAVIAN background where we never show our feelings, hardly talk to one another, and off ourselves in the barn on cold winter nights. LOL
I am so sorry and I know that you know but it was not your fault, you were just a little girl abused by every adult in your life. I couldn’t read all through, it’s just too painful. And too similar. It’s as if you are writing my own words. I’ve been with the same amazing therapist for almost ten years and I refuse to explore the sexual abuse I went through as a child any further. I believe that there is a reason my body and mind refused to remember more than fragments. I think the truth might kill me. And I trust my body. So I am in awe of what you are trying to do. Just keep protecting that little girl. Be the mother, loving adult, concerned father, caring adult she didn’t have.
You can try looking into an amazing support group called ASCA. Adult survivors of childhood abuse. If you want more info, reach out to me. It’s free. It’s helpful. We are sadly not alone. Lots of love to you.
Thank you for this. I think this is the comment I was looking for. Part of me feels like I need to know what happened but I think you're right. There's a reason my mind doesn't want to remember.
I'm so sorry that happened to you and I'm glad that, like me, you found an amazing therapist.
The little girl in me would like to be friends with the little girl in you. I think they'd find so much solace and strength in each other. (I think they already do.)
There is a book I’d love to recommend to you. 8 keys to safe trauma recovery. By Babette Rothschild. I’ll confess I haven’t read all of it yet, but I bought it when I was a rape crisis counsellor because often the remembering is akin to experiencing all over again. Our brains can block out trauma. But our bodies (as the famous book says) keep the score. Therapy is a way to help our bodies and minds reconnect; allowing us to feel how we feel and explore in a safe space. Calming our nervous systems. Allowing us to control the narrative - when we once had no control at all. Therapy is a process… There is no one rule for all. Be kind to yourself as you are. Just to add I often tell clients that we are Russian dolls - holding past versions of ourselves inside. They are always there. Other shells of people we once were. Taking to, hearing and understanding - and loving those other dolls is a key to living with them. They make up the doll we are today - but do not define us. Sending love ❤️
Thank you for this. I've been reading a lot about reparenting your inner child and being the person you needed back then and it's been so helpful not only in healing but gaining confidence in myself now as an adult.
I'm working through something similar. I've always known something happened, but I didn't understand it when I was little. I have flashes of memory, memories of brief conversation, and brief memories of sensation in my body. The body remembers. I'm writing to get it out. I feel like once I get it out, it'll help, and hopefully help someone else.
Just like this post did. Thank you for your words. I'm imagining a conversation with my inner child at different ages, the different times adults didn't stand up for her.
Aw, so much love to you. It's a strange, scary road. Thanks for reading. Being there for past versions of me and kind of being the parent I always needed has been really healing. I'm glad it's working for you also. Sending all the love!
You are worthy and strong and lovable.
I know how hard it is to accept that and how hard it is to put trauma from the past to bed. You're going to be okay.
Also? Now that you're in the restaurant biz, how are you liking the Bear? The first season and now this season has started up my serving dreams again from my 20s. I'm on a section of twenty tables that all sat at the same time and I'm the only server and there are rats running around and I have to navigate a tight crowd with a tray of martinis.
Thank you Kate. Thank you so much.
Haha. Serving nightmares. Same. I dream I'm mixing up orders, way behind and the new tickets keep coming. I am LOVING The Bear. Didn't think they could top the first season but they did! Watching last episode of second season tonight. How about that episode with Jamie Lee Curtis? Jesus. So good I was triggered. I know that family dynamic well.
Fishes was a wild ride.... it kind of made me thankful that I come from a WASP/SCANDINAVIAN background where we never show our feelings, hardly talk to one another, and off ourselves in the barn on cold winter nights. LOL
Haha! Jesus. You always make me laugh.
Sometimes it's the only thing that works!
I am so sorry and I know that you know but it was not your fault, you were just a little girl abused by every adult in your life. I couldn’t read all through, it’s just too painful. And too similar. It’s as if you are writing my own words. I’ve been with the same amazing therapist for almost ten years and I refuse to explore the sexual abuse I went through as a child any further. I believe that there is a reason my body and mind refused to remember more than fragments. I think the truth might kill me. And I trust my body. So I am in awe of what you are trying to do. Just keep protecting that little girl. Be the mother, loving adult, concerned father, caring adult she didn’t have.
You can try looking into an amazing support group called ASCA. Adult survivors of childhood abuse. If you want more info, reach out to me. It’s free. It’s helpful. We are sadly not alone. Lots of love to you.
Thank you for this. I think this is the comment I was looking for. Part of me feels like I need to know what happened but I think you're right. There's a reason my mind doesn't want to remember.
I'm so sorry that happened to you and I'm glad that, like me, you found an amazing therapist.
I love you the most. This was beautiful and brave. (You are beautiful and brave.)
I love you so much.
gross guys, get a room! jk, i love you two. I stalk you from @softhingsewn on IG. woops. spoiler.
The little girl in me would like to be friends with the little girl in you. I think they'd find so much solace and strength in each other. (I think they already do.)
Love this and love you. Thank you for being there/here ♥️
There is a book I’d love to recommend to you. 8 keys to safe trauma recovery. By Babette Rothschild. I’ll confess I haven’t read all of it yet, but I bought it when I was a rape crisis counsellor because often the remembering is akin to experiencing all over again. Our brains can block out trauma. But our bodies (as the famous book says) keep the score. Therapy is a way to help our bodies and minds reconnect; allowing us to feel how we feel and explore in a safe space. Calming our nervous systems. Allowing us to control the narrative - when we once had no control at all. Therapy is a process… There is no one rule for all. Be kind to yourself as you are. Just to add I often tell clients that we are Russian dolls - holding past versions of ourselves inside. They are always there. Other shells of people we once were. Taking to, hearing and understanding - and loving those other dolls is a key to living with them. They make up the doll we are today - but do not define us. Sending love ❤️
Thank you for this. I've been reading a lot about reparenting your inner child and being the person you needed back then and it's been so helpful not only in healing but gaining confidence in myself now as an adult.
I'm working through something similar. I've always known something happened, but I didn't understand it when I was little. I have flashes of memory, memories of brief conversation, and brief memories of sensation in my body. The body remembers. I'm writing to get it out. I feel like once I get it out, it'll help, and hopefully help someone else.
Just like this post did. Thank you for your words. I'm imagining a conversation with my inner child at different ages, the different times adults didn't stand up for her.
Aw, so much love to you. It's a strange, scary road. Thanks for reading. Being there for past versions of me and kind of being the parent I always needed has been really healing. I'm glad it's working for you also. Sending all the love!