I truly believe that if we can sit across the table from each other and have calm rational conversations 90% of Trump voters really do want the best for everyone. I've spent many hours discussing politics with my very opinionated family who has both Republican and Democrats in it. What I've learned over the last 4 years is that generally they all want the same things. None of them want to harm or marginalize another human, but they have different beliefs on how we handle certain situations. I watched members of my family not speak to each other for over two years because of politics and now that we're on the back side of that I can tell you that social media, legacy media and generally online period thrives on dividing families. Change starts at home, change starts in your local community and change starts with actually listening to those who don't agree with your philosophies and attempt to find an area of compromise. Alienating someone because they voted a certain way (no matter what way they voted) doesn't solve anything other than make us all more divided. Forcing someone by shame into your point of view only isolates them further. I hope this Country can start to heal and find some compromise on both sides. Otherwise, we will continue down the path we're on.
I feel this comment so hard. I really appreciate it! It’s wild to feel nervous about sharing a political opinion among liberals I have always identified so deeply with but something about the direction the left is headed feels wrong to me. The vibe is bad in the same way the tea party vibe felt in 2008 but now it’s the party I always identified with. I’m spending more time having deep conversations offline and not putting people in knee-jerk boxes based on preconceived notions implanted in my head by media/social media and that feels like a good direction. Online discourse has devolved into a divisive, unproductive mess.
I am mad. I am ANGRY. I was polite the first time. But I'm not holding my tongue this time around. A good portion of my friends are trans. He promised to roll back protections for trans people on day one. My friends are so scared. So no, I can't be nice this time. I'm not taking the time to fight with people unless they come at me first. I'm not really name-calling, like dumb or idiot, nothing more than that because that's just not me. But I am not breaking bread with people who voted for him this time. I forgave a close friend of mine last time. I did, and we're still good friends. She didn't vote for him this time. I still have friends who identify as republican, libertarian, etc. I mean, you know me, I'm pretty friendly. But I can't remain silent. You don't have Facebook anymore so you didn't see my video. I am so tired of people shaming us for cutting off toxic people. I cut off family and friends who voted for him. I have zero regrets. I cannot tolerate him. This sense of neutrality doesn't help. Again, I even have liberal friends with political differences. But I cannot for the life of me be okay knowing people who voted for him. Be republican. Be libertarian. Be democrats. Be independent.
And hey, maybe I'm proving your point. But as I said in my video, and I can send it to you if you'd like to watch it, this apparent neutrality is a bit of gas-lighting. I'm being criticized for cutting off people who voted for Trump. And I cannot understand why that's wrong. I have personally cut off people who have vocally supported him who have said racist things to me, who have other morals of which do not align with mine. While yes, you're right, they are not all racist, transphobic, homophobic, etc, actively voting for a man who is means it's not a deal breaker for them. Which means our ethics don't align. In one of my favorite Golden Girl episodes where Dorothy's friend invites everyone to the country club, but tells her Rose's boyfriend can't come because he's Jewish, it's the same thing. Her friend says, "it's not my policy it's the clubs." And Dorothy responds, "But you tolerate it." That's my point. And this is coming from a Black woman who will not say ACAB. I won't because I don't lie generalizations. I really don't. I know not all Republicans are bad so I would never say that. But this is something different. He stood up on live TV to proclaim that Haitian immigrants are eating pets in Ohio....I know you don't support him so I won't continue.
And Monica, I still love you so very much. 100% My response is in no way meant to make you feel bad for your opinion. But I'd really like to offer my perspective on this because, again, I am so tired of people telling me and my friends to be neutral and to respect Trump voters. From a Black queer woman, everyone who has said this has been white. I know you know what privligde is. I know you also belong to the queer demographic, too. And yes, of course, there are so many deep-seated issues in our society with sexism and the patriarchy.
Like I said after I made my point very clear on Facebook. I think it's 100% okay to hate his supporters. I've personally been treated poorly by them. I see the things they say. I cannot find a reason to keep toxic people in my life. I followed up with saying that we need an action plan. We need to make sure we vote in the small elections to get the right people in place to begin with.
Alas, I will conclude my response. While you know I'm usually the type of person to try to find the good and keep the peace, this type of statement comes from a place of privilege.
"Extend yourself and alchemize your grief and pain into empathy and thoughtful action, not finger pointing and cutting off friends and family members." We can do both. Allow people to hurt. Don't tell them they are wrong for cutting people off. Please. Allow them to feel their grief without making them feel bad for removing themselves from those people.
Again, Monica, 100% I love you, and I'll always be your friend. I just hope you understand where I am coming from. Happy to discuss with you more.
Hey Taliya. I love you. Thanks for sharing your thoughts. You know I have your back. Always. Just wanted to clarify a couple things. I don’t believe encouraging people to respond to the current climate with compassion and wisdom is a bad thing or the same as “being neutral.” I am very much not neutral politically, I have a trans child and I know that you and I align on just about every political issue. I don’t think it’s wrong to cut off people who say racist or otherwise terrible things to you. But I also don’t think cutting off ALL people who voted for Trump or considering all of them to be vile fascists is the best way to go or attain what we really want which is to win the next election. I fully support you personally setting whatever boundaries you need to set in your life and certainly don’t want to shame anyone. I’m not telling you to respect Trump voters, just not treat them as a monolith - because that’s how it feels like republicans treat democrats and I don’t want to be a part of that or continue that increasingly toxic cycle of vilification and hatred. I want to step away from the chaos and not play that game. We have the same goals, you and I. It seems to me there is a better way to transcend the current, horrifying political climate and get to a better place. All the love, my sweet friend.
This missive is an absolute breath of fresh air and deeply resonated with me. It's a powerful reminder of the shared humanity that often gets lost in the storm of political debate. Your call for "ferocious compassion" is not only inspiring but feels like the antidote we so desperately need in these polarizing times. Thank you for bringing such clarity, grace, and empathy to this conversation. It's a wonderful piece that gives me hope for better dialogues ahead.
Thank you! Hope for better dialogues and so much more. It feels nice to use the word hope, doesn’t it? If we’re gonna make it thru the next four years of fuckery and win the next election hope, elevated and nuanced discourse is desperately needed. ✌🏻❤️
I do feel angry. Not at the milllions and millions of people who voted against their own interests. Not at them, but at the system that created them. I have so much empathy for the women that will die from not getting appropriate health care, the lgbtq community that may be forced to go back underground, and so so many people who will be deported or put in camps. Doesn’t matter if they voted blue or red. The pain is the same. And as a rape victim myself, I’m heartbroken that we’ve elected a man who sexually assaults women and elects predators to his cabinet. Kindness always wins. But it’s ok to direct anger at the right spaces. I know you get that.
Nah, gotta disagree with you on most/all of this. Looks like Taliyah covered it for me. Maybe Trump voters believe the rape/fraud/insurection, etc. accusations are false. But they can’t deny the words that came straight from his mouth, mocking/shaming: those with disabilities, women, people of color, etc. His voters knew he felt this way. And they tolerate it. So, respectfully, I don’t wanna know ‘em.
PS. I spent 10 years working in the DC “swamp” as a civil servant. I worked my tail off, 10-12 hour days. My colleagues and bosses (from both parties) were some of the nicest, smartest people I’ve ever known. I’ve since moved to the private sector. Lemme tell ya, corporations are the swamp. Not D.C….
I wish I knew. I could make a lot of money if I had the answer to that one!! I really like Pete B. I think he has the ability to break things down in a logical way that anyone can understand and relate to. He always kills it whenever he goes on Fox.
I guess my ultimate question is this: Democrats are upset because they believe anyone who voted for Trump is intolerant and hateful yet democrats will also write me off - someone who likely perfectly aligns with progressive politics - because I refuse to be hateful and intolerant toward a massive group of people?
How will dems win an election with that mindset? Why are dems surprised they lost with that mindset? How will we ever move forward? We have to communicate and understand, not sanctimoniously write off entire blocks of people without a deeper understanding of their vote.
Trump and his ilk thrive in that kind of hate and chaos. It’s part of his playbook.
Loved this Monica - very late to the party. As someone who grew up during ‘the troubles’ in Northern Ireland - meaning I routinely found myself in bomb scares, entered shops having my bag searched, my bus stopped for soldiers to inspect under my seat on way home from school, lay on playground floors incase bombs went off - not to mention family being shot and killed by the IRA… Meaning I grew up amongst ‘sides’ - utter division. Division that drove me away from living in my own country - raising my family far from the one that raised me. When I see such anger in the US - everything being so black or white - all I can do is appeal to those to step back and… listen. Why did people vote for Trump? Why are people afraid? Why did the democrats believe media would win them the election? When no one trusts media any more? By really listening, really hearing - maybe just maybe we have similarities? Maybe we want something the same? Maybe there is a way through the divide? Everything you said was so spot on. I follow a woman on Instagram (house inhabit) who I don’t agree with politically but she went from staunch liberal to Trump supporter - and I totally got why she did. NOT that I have done the same, merely I could see why she felt the way she did. Compassion, empathy and trying to find common ground - the only ways through.
Oh man, thanks so much for this. This is such a great perspective from another country that has been THROUGH IT and I really appreciate it. This is what I'm trying to say! Hate and division is what Trump wants. It secured his win. If we can all calm the fuck down, listen, pay attention and really hear each other we'll make far more progress than shaming people for their vote when it's impossible to understand another person's vote unless you take the time to really understand what THEIR understanding of a situation or a person is based on their reality bubble. We all live in them whether we're aware of it or not. We're confirmation-biasing our way into civil war here.
Every word. ❤️🔥
Most especially the "super foxy" RW part <3
🫦
So in other words Bernie Sanders 2028 :)
I am tired of the binary choices we are forced to decide over n this country.
SUPER tired. hopefully we're in the destruction part and creation is coming. nice to see you here!
I truly believe that if we can sit across the table from each other and have calm rational conversations 90% of Trump voters really do want the best for everyone. I've spent many hours discussing politics with my very opinionated family who has both Republican and Democrats in it. What I've learned over the last 4 years is that generally they all want the same things. None of them want to harm or marginalize another human, but they have different beliefs on how we handle certain situations. I watched members of my family not speak to each other for over two years because of politics and now that we're on the back side of that I can tell you that social media, legacy media and generally online period thrives on dividing families. Change starts at home, change starts in your local community and change starts with actually listening to those who don't agree with your philosophies and attempt to find an area of compromise. Alienating someone because they voted a certain way (no matter what way they voted) doesn't solve anything other than make us all more divided. Forcing someone by shame into your point of view only isolates them further. I hope this Country can start to heal and find some compromise on both sides. Otherwise, we will continue down the path we're on.
I feel this comment so hard. I really appreciate it! It’s wild to feel nervous about sharing a political opinion among liberals I have always identified so deeply with but something about the direction the left is headed feels wrong to me. The vibe is bad in the same way the tea party vibe felt in 2008 but now it’s the party I always identified with. I’m spending more time having deep conversations offline and not putting people in knee-jerk boxes based on preconceived notions implanted in my head by media/social media and that feels like a good direction. Online discourse has devolved into a divisive, unproductive mess.
I applaud you for this. Thank you for sharing this important message to your readers ♥️
I am mad. I am ANGRY. I was polite the first time. But I'm not holding my tongue this time around. A good portion of my friends are trans. He promised to roll back protections for trans people on day one. My friends are so scared. So no, I can't be nice this time. I'm not taking the time to fight with people unless they come at me first. I'm not really name-calling, like dumb or idiot, nothing more than that because that's just not me. But I am not breaking bread with people who voted for him this time. I forgave a close friend of mine last time. I did, and we're still good friends. She didn't vote for him this time. I still have friends who identify as republican, libertarian, etc. I mean, you know me, I'm pretty friendly. But I can't remain silent. You don't have Facebook anymore so you didn't see my video. I am so tired of people shaming us for cutting off toxic people. I cut off family and friends who voted for him. I have zero regrets. I cannot tolerate him. This sense of neutrality doesn't help. Again, I even have liberal friends with political differences. But I cannot for the life of me be okay knowing people who voted for him. Be republican. Be libertarian. Be democrats. Be independent.
And hey, maybe I'm proving your point. But as I said in my video, and I can send it to you if you'd like to watch it, this apparent neutrality is a bit of gas-lighting. I'm being criticized for cutting off people who voted for Trump. And I cannot understand why that's wrong. I have personally cut off people who have vocally supported him who have said racist things to me, who have other morals of which do not align with mine. While yes, you're right, they are not all racist, transphobic, homophobic, etc, actively voting for a man who is means it's not a deal breaker for them. Which means our ethics don't align. In one of my favorite Golden Girl episodes where Dorothy's friend invites everyone to the country club, but tells her Rose's boyfriend can't come because he's Jewish, it's the same thing. Her friend says, "it's not my policy it's the clubs." And Dorothy responds, "But you tolerate it." That's my point. And this is coming from a Black woman who will not say ACAB. I won't because I don't lie generalizations. I really don't. I know not all Republicans are bad so I would never say that. But this is something different. He stood up on live TV to proclaim that Haitian immigrants are eating pets in Ohio....I know you don't support him so I won't continue.
And Monica, I still love you so very much. 100% My response is in no way meant to make you feel bad for your opinion. But I'd really like to offer my perspective on this because, again, I am so tired of people telling me and my friends to be neutral and to respect Trump voters. From a Black queer woman, everyone who has said this has been white. I know you know what privligde is. I know you also belong to the queer demographic, too. And yes, of course, there are so many deep-seated issues in our society with sexism and the patriarchy.
Like I said after I made my point very clear on Facebook. I think it's 100% okay to hate his supporters. I've personally been treated poorly by them. I see the things they say. I cannot find a reason to keep toxic people in my life. I followed up with saying that we need an action plan. We need to make sure we vote in the small elections to get the right people in place to begin with.
Alas, I will conclude my response. While you know I'm usually the type of person to try to find the good and keep the peace, this type of statement comes from a place of privilege.
"Extend yourself and alchemize your grief and pain into empathy and thoughtful action, not finger pointing and cutting off friends and family members." We can do both. Allow people to hurt. Don't tell them they are wrong for cutting people off. Please. Allow them to feel their grief without making them feel bad for removing themselves from those people.
Again, Monica, 100% I love you, and I'll always be your friend. I just hope you understand where I am coming from. Happy to discuss with you more.
Hey Taliya. I love you. Thanks for sharing your thoughts. You know I have your back. Always. Just wanted to clarify a couple things. I don’t believe encouraging people to respond to the current climate with compassion and wisdom is a bad thing or the same as “being neutral.” I am very much not neutral politically, I have a trans child and I know that you and I align on just about every political issue. I don’t think it’s wrong to cut off people who say racist or otherwise terrible things to you. But I also don’t think cutting off ALL people who voted for Trump or considering all of them to be vile fascists is the best way to go or attain what we really want which is to win the next election. I fully support you personally setting whatever boundaries you need to set in your life and certainly don’t want to shame anyone. I’m not telling you to respect Trump voters, just not treat them as a monolith - because that’s how it feels like republicans treat democrats and I don’t want to be a part of that or continue that increasingly toxic cycle of vilification and hatred. I want to step away from the chaos and not play that game. We have the same goals, you and I. It seems to me there is a better way to transcend the current, horrifying political climate and get to a better place. All the love, my sweet friend.
This missive is an absolute breath of fresh air and deeply resonated with me. It's a powerful reminder of the shared humanity that often gets lost in the storm of political debate. Your call for "ferocious compassion" is not only inspiring but feels like the antidote we so desperately need in these polarizing times. Thank you for bringing such clarity, grace, and empathy to this conversation. It's a wonderful piece that gives me hope for better dialogues ahead.
Thank you! Hope for better dialogues and so much more. It feels nice to use the word hope, doesn’t it? If we’re gonna make it thru the next four years of fuckery and win the next election hope, elevated and nuanced discourse is desperately needed. ✌🏻❤️
I do feel angry. Not at the milllions and millions of people who voted against their own interests. Not at them, but at the system that created them. I have so much empathy for the women that will die from not getting appropriate health care, the lgbtq community that may be forced to go back underground, and so so many people who will be deported or put in camps. Doesn’t matter if they voted blue or red. The pain is the same. And as a rape victim myself, I’m heartbroken that we’ve elected a man who sexually assaults women and elects predators to his cabinet. Kindness always wins. But it’s ok to direct anger at the right spaces. I know you get that.
100% understand and feel all of this. ❤️❤️❤️
Nah, gotta disagree with you on most/all of this. Looks like Taliyah covered it for me. Maybe Trump voters believe the rape/fraud/insurection, etc. accusations are false. But they can’t deny the words that came straight from his mouth, mocking/shaming: those with disabilities, women, people of color, etc. His voters knew he felt this way. And they tolerate it. So, respectfully, I don’t wanna know ‘em.
PS. I spent 10 years working in the DC “swamp” as a civil servant. I worked my tail off, 10-12 hour days. My colleagues and bosses (from both parties) were some of the nicest, smartest people I’ve ever known. I’ve since moved to the private sector. Lemme tell ya, corporations are the swamp. Not D.C….
Don’t disagree!
I am curious to hear your thoughts. How can we ensure the right person makes it to the White House in 4 years?
I wish I knew. I could make a lot of money if I had the answer to that one!! I really like Pete B. I think he has the ability to break things down in a logical way that anyone can understand and relate to. He always kills it whenever he goes on Fox.
Thx for responding and glad you stuck around! ❤️
Pete B's a good one for sure.
I guess my ultimate question is this: Democrats are upset because they believe anyone who voted for Trump is intolerant and hateful yet democrats will also write me off - someone who likely perfectly aligns with progressive politics - because I refuse to be hateful and intolerant toward a massive group of people?
How will dems win an election with that mindset? Why are dems surprised they lost with that mindset? How will we ever move forward? We have to communicate and understand, not sanctimoniously write off entire blocks of people without a deeper understanding of their vote.
Trump and his ilk thrive in that kind of hate and chaos. It’s part of his playbook.
Loved this Monica - very late to the party. As someone who grew up during ‘the troubles’ in Northern Ireland - meaning I routinely found myself in bomb scares, entered shops having my bag searched, my bus stopped for soldiers to inspect under my seat on way home from school, lay on playground floors incase bombs went off - not to mention family being shot and killed by the IRA… Meaning I grew up amongst ‘sides’ - utter division. Division that drove me away from living in my own country - raising my family far from the one that raised me. When I see such anger in the US - everything being so black or white - all I can do is appeal to those to step back and… listen. Why did people vote for Trump? Why are people afraid? Why did the democrats believe media would win them the election? When no one trusts media any more? By really listening, really hearing - maybe just maybe we have similarities? Maybe we want something the same? Maybe there is a way through the divide? Everything you said was so spot on. I follow a woman on Instagram (house inhabit) who I don’t agree with politically but she went from staunch liberal to Trump supporter - and I totally got why she did. NOT that I have done the same, merely I could see why she felt the way she did. Compassion, empathy and trying to find common ground - the only ways through.
Oh man, thanks so much for this. This is such a great perspective from another country that has been THROUGH IT and I really appreciate it. This is what I'm trying to say! Hate and division is what Trump wants. It secured his win. If we can all calm the fuck down, listen, pay attention and really hear each other we'll make far more progress than shaming people for their vote when it's impossible to understand another person's vote unless you take the time to really understand what THEIR understanding of a situation or a person is based on their reality bubble. We all live in them whether we're aware of it or not. We're confirmation-biasing our way into civil war here.